A Hoix ate my SatNav
by Jocose
Summary: Owen's got a problem with his expenses. Set before Reset.


Owen Harper stormed into Jack's office, brandishing a sheet of very crumpled paper. "What the bleeding-hell is **this," **he demanded, glaring at Jack.

Jack slowly leaned back in his chair and sighed. "Morning Owen. No idea. Gettysburg Address? First draft of War and Peace?" Folding his arms across his chest, he waited wearily for his chief medical officer to explain what was annoying him _this_ time.

"Oh, _very _funny! He's gone and done it **again**, the **sod**!" Flinging the sheet of paper down on the desk, he glared at his boss, then waved his arm in the general direction of the platform. "You really are going to have to do something about him, if he prints... _prints _I ask you! If he **prints **that, _in red ink _on my claim form **one- more- time**, I'll ram it where the sun don't shine."

Jack narrowed his eyes and winced. "I take it this is about your SatNav?"

Owen stared at him in surprise, "Yeah, how do you know that?" He asked cautiously.

"Oh, just a lucky guess," Jack murmured, then smiled benignly back at him. "All you have to do is fill in the form properly and you'll get your money, okay?"

"I already did... twice." Owen responded, pointedly. "There is nothing wrong with that form."

"You're right Owen, the form's fine, it's what you put on it that isn't," Jack said, clearly in no mood to let him off lightly this time. Straightening out the creases as best he could, he stabbed his finger down on one part of it. "How the hell does _ask Jack_, answer the question _state full_ _details of the event in question_?"

Owen folded his arms across his chest and glared down his nose at his boss. "Alright, in that case I'll put _ask Ianto_, he was there as well."

"Oh for Chrissake Jack! I've got better things to do with my time than write a six page essay on how a Hoix ate my bloody SatNav." Not giving Jack the chance to respond Owen kept going, "I mean it's not like I can claim on the insurance any more is it? There's only so many times I can legitimately drop my phone down the toilet and the dog- which I don't have- can eat some piece of equipment or other, or make a meal of parts of my clothing."

"Yeah, I'm fully aware of that Owen but," Jack didn't get any further as Owen interrupted him mid-sentence.

"I'd also like to remind you that if you hadn't insisted that I take the damned thing with me instead of leaving it in the glove compartment like I usually do, it wouldn't have got left in the back of the SUV and then couldn't have got eaten, could it?"

Jack closed his eyes, some days he really did wonder why he bothered to get up! "Okay, look Owen, I'll," Once again Jack never made it the end of the sentence he was attempting to complete.

"Okay, I admit it it was probably my fault that it blew up, if I'd removed it sooner it probably wouldn't have, which reminds me... how _is _ Ianto at welding? Only there's still a dirty great hole in the autopsy table. I'm making do with a bucket under there at the moment but y'know." Owen smiled hopefully, clearly attempting to shift into diplomatic mode. "I could put a requisition in for a new one," he murmured, an innocent expression on his face. "But y'know, if its fixable."

Jack pinched the bridge of his nose and looked wearily at the crumpled requisition form. He was beginning to lose the will to live! "Okay Owen, tell you what I'll do, **just this once**," he said opening various drawers, searching for something.

Owen stood quietly watching as he searched. "If your looking for the authorisation stamp," he said innocently "its right at the back of your top right hand drawer."

"How do you know that?" Jack asked, looking at him suspiciously.

Owen shrugged, "No idea," he mumbled.

As soon as the form was stamped, he grabbed it and headed towards the door. "Thanks Jack, can you ask Ianto about fixing that hole? Only he wasn't very enthusiastic about it the couple of times I mentioned it."

Jack put his hands to his face and then slumped back in his chair. Staring up at the ceiling he began counting. Taking a deep breath, he glanced across at the authorisation stamp, it wasn't that he didn't trust Owen, but....

Picking up the stamp, he went over to the safe and locked it away- just in case!


End file.
